


The Unexpected Pests

by Jimiel



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Point of View, Crack, Gen, Gratuitous Use of Exclamation Points, Humor, Main Characters Turned Minor, Peripheral Company, alternate perspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-03
Updated: 2013-12-03
Packaged: 2018-01-03 08:46:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1068461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jimiel/pseuds/Jimiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Well bless me. The legends are true... Giants. Stone giants!" - Bofur, the Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey</i>
</p>
<p>Of all the races of men, elves, and hobbits... Why was it that only the dwarfs had any legends of stone giants in the Misty Mountains? Because none of the other races bothered to warn them of the possibility when crossing the mountains!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Unexpected Pests

**Author's Note:**

> _**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Tolkien, suing me might get you half a pack of orange creme pop flavored gum..._
> 
> _**Author's Note:** This was actually the first Hobbit based story I started writing. I just got distracted by other ideas during the writing. And future scenes for the Family Ri are eating my brain..._

“Look out!” Dwalin shouted, voice nearly drowned out by the storm.

Everyone turned to look as a giant boulder flew toward the group and crashed into the mountain above where they stood on a ledge. A ledge that had seemed wide enough moments before and now seemed precariously thin. The mountain groaned with the force, trembling from the blow as rocks and stones showered down from the collision point. The main bulk of the boulder fell far too close for the likings of The Company as gravity did its share of the work.

But, beyond the hearing of the Dwarrows and Hobbit, the groaning of rocks was not in fact a protest of the mountain from the impact. It was in fact a language. One that was far too large for their ears to comprehend.

“Cursed pests! I missed!” The stone giant that had flung the boulder pressed its face into the mountain peak it had torn the boulder from in dismay before pulling back and tearing off another chunk. “I’ll not miss the blasted dwarfs this time!”

The second boulder flew and the giant missed the tiny beings on the ledge again. This time the miss was even wider, striking instead a second stone giant that had been getting up from where it lounged on a mountain and knocking it back a step.

“The blazes, quit throwing things!” The second giant yelled in the old stone tongue. “Ya can’t aim, ya sand head!”

“Wha-? Dwarfs! Where?!” A third giant voice joined the ruckus, having been slowly woken by the first boulder smacking its shoulder. “I don’t like dwarfs…” It looked around, rising from its place of slumber.

“Get back down, you’ll hurt them!” The second giant moved swiftly over, delivering a headbutt to the third in an attempt to get it back into place. “You know we’re not supposed to hurt the tiny folk.”

The third giant once more rose. “They’re on me!” It flailed around a bit, narrowly missing being struck by the first giant. “Why are you trying to hit me?!” The indignation was punctuated by a hastily ripped up rock that it smashed into the head of the first one.

“I said quit!” The second giant threw a boulder at the head of the third, knocking it back into the mountain. “You’ll hurt them!” The rage was unmistakable.

The first giant raged. “I almost had them! Hold still!”

“But they’re on me… I can feel them!” The third giant thrashed around a bit more before losing balance and bumping into the mountainside. Balance further lost, it tumbled down into a deep canyon between two of the peaks.

“Where’d they go… Get back here dwarfs!” The first giant roared, furious.

The second giant was exasperated, watching the tiny dwarfs flee into a cave and out of sight without revealing their location. “Would you stop it, they weren’t the ones that dug that shiny rock out of your backside and left a divot…”

“I’ll get my revenge!” The first giant shook its hands up at the stormy sky, ignoring the others.

From deep within the canyon came a panting, relieved voice. “Thought… I was going… To die…”

**Author's Note:**

> _**Fun Fic Fact:** I probably rewatched the stone giant scene in the movie two dozen times before finally finishing this thing..._


End file.
